Jeans...the never ending dilemma...



Applebottoms...BabyPhat...Fetish...even, J.Lo... I don't understand it! My birthday is quickly approaching and all I have wanted is a nice pair of jazzy jeans and shoes... not much to ask for, right? Wrong! I would have had more luck searching for people in the Bermuda Triangle. I have heard many women with the same issue as I have: "My jeans fit in my hips and thighs but are huge around the waist"...I feel you. Or it's..." the jeans fit well enough but I would like to wear low rise AND not have plummer booty!

I can relate to both of these issues as well as having most jeans fit me like capris! My problem is a combination of things. I am tall and can usually slide by with a 34" inch inseam but I have been on the hunt for Brazilian jeans (these jeans fit to the point where it looks like you are wearing a pair of blue stockings with pockets attatched and the feet cut out... no, seriously!) and since the crotch of the jean is more fitted, it appears that the inseam is shorter; simply put, I need 35-36" inch inseam. Again, this is easily said than done. Now, my butt isn't ginormous but it is the largest mass on my body! I was watching Oprah and she was raving about Applebottom jeans. I'm thinking Great! About time they made some jeans for people with more than a crack in their back... let me go and try these bad boys on! Y'all...I don't know if it was a bad day or if the planets were out of alignment...horrible fit. Of course they were too short, most jeans are, but I was expecting something magical to happen to my butt...nothing... I mean come on! They are called Applebottoms!! They were just tight all over, they didn't give any room for a sizeable butt. I tried different sizes; the larger sizes were too big in the thigh. I went to the website and thought, Okay, these girls don't have big butts... they barely have butts at all! Nelly's butt is bigger than this girl's!... such a disappointment. They could have been in an abercrombie ad, no difference. I refuse to believe that I am the only person in the world who is not digging these jeans. I figured Eve is pretty bottom heavy maybe her jeans will do the trick...Hey, everyone was riding J. Lo's butt for years! Maybe she's made some jeans that will fit!... I even went to BabyPhat...mind you, I absolutely hate overtly namebrand clothing: A big Tommy across my chest, a rhinestone cat curled on my right butt jean pocket, a brown purse with LV's all over it...eck!! It's shameful! I have looked on eBay and all over the internet, to no avail. I might just end up wearing a skirt or something and call it a day...

My soul responsibilities...

People say that America is not a melting pot but rather a tossed salad: Everything is together in one bowl but distinct. America... Girl, I can relate! I am one person but I am the sum of many parts. I have always been different than everyone else; either my head was in the clouds while the earthdwellers focused on their next move, or I was totally intrigued and obsessed with something while everyone else was yawning with disinterest. I must represent each of them well and erase all stereotypes and stigmas attached to them.

For example, I am a Southerner (by God's grace, =)...) many people see the South as backwards, I have stated before that I am about as country as it gets. I mean the picking berries, tending to the cows, climbing trees, catching fireflies, walking around barefoot kind of country. I have to show that though I was raised in a relaxed and virtually carefree environment, it does not make me backwards, naive, or simple-minded. I was raised to respect peoples cultures and backgrounds and to soak up as much knowledge as possible...all the while staying true to myself and my upbringing (If I may quote Gretchen, I'm just a product of my raisin')
I am also a Ghanaian (West African) woman. This wouldn't be such a big deal if I weren't born and raised in the South, where shade of skin and texture of hair is as important to people as their religion and education. Dark skin, let alone, African culture is not always appreciated down here. Growing up having to defend myself against African Americans and Whites was no easy task. Even as an adult there is a strong stigma attached to being of direct African decent. It's something that I am immeasurably proud of. My responsibility is to educate people and explain to them the basics (Yes. We do wear clothing... you would be surprised at the questions people ask me)

I am nearly six feet tall (5'11 to be exact). I attempt to make my height look graceful, dainty, and unintimidating... not an easy task. People (especially men) are intimidated by tall women. It is amazing how I have been classified into the model or basketball player/lesbian category on height alone (neither of which I am by the way).
I am also a 22 year old virgin...*chirp,chirp* Hello? Is my mic on...? Yes, we sexy virgins are a dying breed. Full of head tilting, squinting and amazingly personal questions, it's exhausting to have to defend your personal stance on sexuality and the like. I have no shame or problem doing so, but I am a lady (ha...Ahem!) and I attempt to practice discretion at all times... You'd be surprised how fast something as mundane as with who or whether or not you are having sex can spread. It's pretty funny...

I'm saying all of this to say how wonderful it is not to be the norm. To be a surprise, an unexpected addition to everyday humdrum life. Everyone is unique in their own way, flaunt it! Appreciate it! Bask in it! When you do other people will follow suit and reveal their wonderful differences too...Toss that salad...!

Snow sucks... No, Really it Does...




There are not many things that I hate... I can tolerate most people, situations, places, foods, you name, I can take it... But, there is one thing that I hate more than than death itself...Snow! I can't describe to you the dread I feel when I see those little dots falling from the sky and freezing everyting in it's path. Actually, I hate the cold in general; snow is the rotten cherry on top. If anyone were to ask any friend (even foe) of mine three major facts about me, my dread for the snow would be top of the list! I'm not one to complain (at least not much) but I don't understand how people can live, even play in the snow. Having to put on a snow suit, or finally getting warm enough and somehow a bit of snow will find its way down the back of your neck where it melts and turns soggy...eck! When I was I child, we used to live in Iowa... it was as if the state had some sort of contract with the sky! It would be so bitterly cold and windy because the land is so flat there. It would snow foot upon foot upon foot of snow. The trucks would push the stuff to each side of the road and would cause these huge mountains of dirty ice that you couldn't see over. Dreadful stuff...
My birthday is on the 19th of December. When I was a child I used to pray for God to somehow change my birthdate to the summertime (obviously a futile request. Hey, I was a kid...) Who wants to be outside trudging around in that crap. I vowed to myself that I would live in a place that was warm and would never snow... I fully intend on keeping this promise.

Oh What to do...Part 2



Once again my oldest sister has come down to visit for the holidays, and again she has brought her wonderful children with her. Unfortunately this time around she and they were struck with a stomach virus. Actually, I believe virus is an understatement...it was reminiscent of the Exorcist...Anyway, to make matters worse we took an 11 hour road trip which in turn infected everyone else (by the grace of God, I was the only one not affected by it). The 11 hours it took there and the 11 hours it took coming home was (after my careful calculations) an eternity and a half. I was amazed at how well she took care of her leaking children while she herself felt ill. That old familiar feeling of second guessing my baby decision washed over me. When I am ill, I shut down. Like a dog about to give birth I go to a corner and bury myself unable to do anything efficiently. I watch my sister entertain, comfort, and feed her children as if she didn't feel like she had just contracted the Eboli virus. I was in awe. I asked her later how she was able to endure the lack of sleep and food and to be in constant movement chasing and caring for a two year and and a seven month old when she herself was ill. Her eyebrows grew together in confusion, "what are you talking about?"..."How are you still moving let alone taking wonderful care of the kids? How are you doing this?"..."You do what you gotta do..." That's it? I thought. That can't be it. Maybe there is a hidden battery pack or she's on a special mix of valium and coffee. I don't believe determination can beat physical (viral) meltdown, it's just not possible. I understand that mothers do this sort of thing everyday, all over the world, but it still amazes me! You know that children are born everyday but you are amazed to watch it when it happens. I can only hope I can have the nonchalant stamina that she has. How she kept from throwing herself or her children out of the window is beyond me...