In My Purest Form...























It began as a simple idea. I told my best friend that I always wanted to have my picture taken, to remember how I looked before children and "life" began. She was/is dating an 'artist' who was good friends with a guy who could do them. I never thought it would really happen and I pushed the idea to the back of my mind....

A few weeks later, she brings it up again and says she knows a guy; his name: Charles Anthony Smith...now, this might not have changed my life but it has definitely changed how I see life and how I see myself within it.

I came down to Mississippi to visit my mother and I let my best friend know I wanted to meet the photographer, Charles. He and I spoke over the phone and he made me feel comfortable to the fact that I agreed to to meet him. My best friend and I were driving to meet Charles and she makes a small pit stop...to pick up her boyfriend. I had forgotten that he and Charles were such good friends (foreshadowing...). I finally met Charles, a big ol' warm southern man with wit and sarcasm in every sentence; we became cool instantly! As he set up his studio/living room for the session, I looked at his collection of books; each one dripping with doey eyed celebrities wanting desperately to break free from the confines of Hollywood royalty by way of artistic nude photography...something was really sad about it. Though I could understand where they were coming from, I was feeling good and I hoped my pictures didn't turn out as heart wrenching and exposed. I looked around the house and saw his work...better yet, I experienced his work. He had had the ability to make anything and anyone beautiful and amazing. He took a seemingly average woman, one who you would pass on the street without a second glance, and made her seem interesting...even appealing..."Yes, I'm ready for my close up..."

He asks me to sit on a stool in the middle of the room surrounded by awkward camera equipment and background drapes of all colors and textures. He focuses the camera and takes a couple of introduction shots, just to see if everything was in working order. All the while telling of his day as if we were old friends! "Okay," he said, "take off as much as you feel comfortable..." I began to remove my wrap skirt and top; I look up and see that my best friend's boyfriend is there...gawking...

This put me in a sticky situation...I personally couldn't have cared less who saw me nude...after all I am taking these pictures for an artist and there is no telling what exhibit these could end up in, and honestly, I have nothing to hide. It was just that he is a bit creepy to me...and I don't feel that my best friend was secure in her relationship with him to have him watch me in the nude...not to mention I've only met him a couple of times-none of which I enjoyed. I couldn't comfortably ask him to leave the room because he is an "artist" and it would be presumptuous to think he was looking at me outside of the confines of art. Even though, that was the first time I ever met Charles face to face he didn't give off that "Chester the Molester" kind of energy...he was playful, laid back and professional. What made it worse is that as I'm sitting there, with flashbulbs popping and sizzling, my pupils dilating and shrinking...I could make out the eerie scene of my friends boyfriend staring at me and deeply caressing her shoulder...Even now I shudder in disgust...

A year later, before I left for another shoot with Charles, my mother gave me a beaded belt, scarves, and bracelets from her own collection...have fun, Baby was all she said as she walked into the kitchen. She always understood my thirst for random experiences. The pictures shown here are of the second session and needless to say that time was even better than the first. It was just Mr. Smith and I: he played music, talked about nonsense, and laughed...I felt in control, at peace, and totally relaxed...it was just me, me in my purest form...