Jeans...the never ending dilemma...



Applebottoms...BabyPhat...Fetish...even, J.Lo... I don't understand it! My birthday is quickly approaching and all I have wanted is a nice pair of jazzy jeans and shoes... not much to ask for, right? Wrong! I would have had more luck searching for people in the Bermuda Triangle. I have heard many women with the same issue as I have: "My jeans fit in my hips and thighs but are huge around the waist"...I feel you. Or it's..." the jeans fit well enough but I would like to wear low rise AND not have plummer booty!

I can relate to both of these issues as well as having most jeans fit me like capris! My problem is a combination of things. I am tall and can usually slide by with a 34" inch inseam but I have been on the hunt for Brazilian jeans (these jeans fit to the point where it looks like you are wearing a pair of blue stockings with pockets attatched and the feet cut out... no, seriously!) and since the crotch of the jean is more fitted, it appears that the inseam is shorter; simply put, I need 35-36" inch inseam. Again, this is easily said than done. Now, my butt isn't ginormous but it is the largest mass on my body! I was watching Oprah and she was raving about Applebottom jeans. I'm thinking Great! About time they made some jeans for people with more than a crack in their back... let me go and try these bad boys on! Y'all...I don't know if it was a bad day or if the planets were out of alignment...horrible fit. Of course they were too short, most jeans are, but I was expecting something magical to happen to my butt...nothing... I mean come on! They are called Applebottoms!! They were just tight all over, they didn't give any room for a sizeable butt. I tried different sizes; the larger sizes were too big in the thigh. I went to the website and thought, Okay, these girls don't have big butts... they barely have butts at all! Nelly's butt is bigger than this girl's!... such a disappointment. They could have been in an abercrombie ad, no difference. I refuse to believe that I am the only person in the world who is not digging these jeans. I figured Eve is pretty bottom heavy maybe her jeans will do the trick...Hey, everyone was riding J. Lo's butt for years! Maybe she's made some jeans that will fit!... I even went to BabyPhat...mind you, I absolutely hate overtly namebrand clothing: A big Tommy across my chest, a rhinestone cat curled on my right butt jean pocket, a brown purse with LV's all over it...eck!! It's shameful! I have looked on eBay and all over the internet, to no avail. I might just end up wearing a skirt or something and call it a day...